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Friday, December 19, 2014

Looking Back

How often do we hear someone dish out advice like a heaping spoon of gravy,
 ``The past is in the past; move on, forget about it, it`s over, what`s done is done...`
All true.
Yet, sometimes we have to look back to move forward.
Finding closure is the key.  We cannot change what happened but certainly we can use it to make wiser decisions. This gives our lives new meaning.
We are not perfect creatures.
We are fallible.
It is in accepting and changing our imperfections that we define ourselves.
It is in forgiving that we are forgiven.
This Christmas season heal an old hurt, bridge a broken road, forgive and find peace.

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.
Kurt Vonnegut

Sunday, December 14, 2014

The Kitchen Table

Most of my fondest memories of childhood float around the kitchen table.
This one simple piece of furniture is the keeper of our families dreams, sorrows, joys, accomplishments, tales... How many have we shared gathered around this table?
Imagine the weight it bears; breakfasts, lunches, dinners, holidays, birthdays, homework, adversity, discourse and even arguments!

It is a homes most treasured possession.
Families are bonded around these tables; nurturing
 not only our bodies with the food they hold but our souls.

Life was simpler growing up in the 60's, 70's and 80's.
We were never rushing off to sports, tutors, after curricular activities. 
We went to school and we came home.
We helped to prepare meals, did our homework, ate together and kept our traditions.
Weekends were for visiting family and being a family.
No one lived too far and we were never too busy.
We cared to be together.

When my own children were little, Sunday's were reserved for visiting Grandparents; enjoying home made pasta!
It was our tradition; one small treasure in the midst of a mad world!
We never broke from our routine.

As they grew older, the bustle of life took over and were were pulled into the vortex of running around from rinks to soccer fields and the weekly Sunday visits became monthly ones which sadly became reserved to special occasions and occasional visits.

In retrospect, as a mother that was my biggest mistake; not holding my children to those visits.

I am the one who now waits for them to come for those Sunday gatherings around the kitchen table!
 If I could go back in time, I'd gladly exchange the rinks and fields for more gatherings. 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Is it the Season to be Jolly?

It's that time of the year again, when we all scramble to decorate our homes, buy the perfect gifts, host the best parties, bake cookies, take photos with Santa......
The question is just how jolly do we feel when we're running around doing all these things.
I for one, don't feel so jolly when I'm wandering around the mall aimlessly trying to buy gifts for loved ones who have just about everything.
So this year I promised that I would slow down and not do so many things; in fact over the last few years I've been systemically sloughing off Christmas madness.
And it feels great!
Last year, on Christmas Eve, in lieu of individual gifts our family participated in steal a gift which made us laugh for hours. That night we found joy in the merriment of the game, not in the gifts themselves.

I love the warmth of the season; when people are a little kinder and care to do for others.
Shouldn't this always be our way of life?

No matter what our faith, it is a time to be grateful for all our blessings.
And I am!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Sunday Morning Coffee and Memories

Sunday Morning Coffee and Memories

A year and a half ago my oldest son, Daniel, left home. Seven months later my second son, Matthew,  followed suit.
Was I ready?
I don't know. Is a  mother ever ready?
The whirlwind of packing, buying furniture and setting up new homes, left me little time to think about what was happening. Although deep in my heart I knew that the "busyness" was my way of keeping the heartache at bay.
But, just as surely as the night comes, so did my my profound sense of loss.
The loss was born of knowing that we would never be the same; our family for all its antics, joys, hardships, and deep love was changed forever.
I was and still am conflicted.
They are no longer my little boys (but will always be). They are men on a new course.
I find solace in knowing that they're happy and now walk a path with women they love.
A mother can ask for nothing more.
For no riches can supersede finding a soul mate.

And on Sunday mornings,before my daughter and husband wake, I enjoy my morning coffee and blanket myself in the beautiful memories of their childhoods; early morning hockey practices, homework, the din of video games, the bustle of holiday preparations, the arguments, the tears and most of all the sweet sound of laughter and family.

We are not perfect but we are perfect in our love for each other. No matter where life takes us, I find great comfort in knowing that my children know that nothing can break the bond of family.

My daughter Liana and son Matthew

Stephanie (Daniel's fiance) & Daniel

Me and Liana

Mia (Matthew's girlfriend) & Matthew

Liana and Daniel (Liana's boyfriend)

Tony (my husband) & Me

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Every Morning We are Born Again!

Every morning we are born again. The worries and problems of yesterday are one day older and we are one day stronger.
It's a new day!
 The possibilities are endless.
We can laugh with abundance.

We can make wiser choices, have new thoughts, be a little kinder, love more passionately, be grateful and remember that our journey is a fleeting one.
Buddha said it best,
"In the end only three things matter; how much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you."
And so I wish you a happy new day!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Quiet Moments

Age has a way of changing our perspective. What we found important in our youth no longer matters as much; we forgive more easily, feel more profoundly, care more about the human condition. We place greater value on relationships.
We become reflective. Speak our truth with care.
We care less to impress.
We walk away from snobbery and pretentiousness.
We see the true colors of the ones we love.
We slow our stride and see all that is beautiful.
We make time for quiet moments. 
We enjoy our own company.
Most of all, we come to know that we cannot hold time at bay.
So we ride the wave, laugh the laugh, embrace the joy, the suffering, the sweetness of all our blessings.
And we say,
Thank you!

Sunday, October 26, 2014


Do you ever get tired of looking at posts that talk about new beginnings, throw out the old, appreciate what you have, live for today. Their endless! People posting quotes about being a better person, enriched existence, spiritual connection.
How many people actually live what they post?
 We read a nice quote, get captured by inspirational words, read a touching story and for a brief moment we think,  "I'm going to live that way."
Two minutes later we go back to the norm.
That's not to say that there are not thousands of people who live by exceptional standards. They are the ones that mentor us to greatness, if we chose to follow their examples. People like Nelson Mandela, and Mother Teresa. They lived their words and so, if we are open to it, they inspire us to find the best in ourselves.

Monday, October 6, 2014

In the Box!

To be self absorbed is to live in a box of your making. Too consumed with the drama of your own life you fail to see that others walk difficult paths too. 
You miss the sun bursting into the sky early in the morning, you fail to see the beauty of the dew drops hanging precariously on the edge of  leaves, you miss the sweet sound of chirping birds as they greet a new day.

You listen but do not hear.
You see but do not observe.
You work but find no passion.
You breathe but do not inhale.
You smile but are hollow.
 You seek but never find.
You take for granted the gifts that lie before you and eventually, if and when you surface, they are gone.

Monday, August 4, 2014

The Dash

This might seem a bit morbid, but trust me it's not!
On rare occasions, I find myself attending a funeral.
When the final blessing is said and everyone leaves to return to the "busy" of their own lives, I often find myself drawn to the tombstones around me.
I read the names, see the photographs and dates etched in stone and I wonder.
What happened in between those dates-what secrets does that tiny little dash hold.
It tells us nothing but knows so much.
It is the journey of the person buried below; the keeper of their hopes, dreams, travels, joys and sorrows.

It is not the date of birth and death that matters so much but how that person lived every moment in between.
Sadly, only a few will know the depth of the dash of each person's life. And when those people are gone the dash of the lives that came before them is no more.

Live your life with abandonment, leave no stone unturned, love freely, play, sing and dance, travel but most of all have no regrets.
Make your dash a good one!

Friday, August 1, 2014

Moving Forward

A few days ago, I was chatting with my mom about family. 
"Isn't the nature of people incredible? Even when we think we can't possibly face another day we do!"

I looked at her and said, "Mom, what an interesting thing to say."
 I knew she was thinking of her own life. "Yes, it is, " I replied.
Life hands us many joys which we accept with abandonment. They are the moments that move us from one day to the next. They fill our souls so that when we are faced with disappointments, losses, and sorrows we are fortified enough to meet the challenges.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

What is God's Plan for Me?

The other day my best friend turned to me and asked, "What do you think God's plan is for me. What should I be doing with my life?" 
It didn't take me long to offer my thoughts.
I  believe that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Live in the moment and devote yourself to the craft you  have chosen. If you love what you do, if you find joy in every moment, if you feel excitement when you are here, if there are not enough hours in the day to complete all that you wish to do, then you are living God's plan.
And when you feel a stirring, a restlessness, don't ignore it. That is him edging you in new directions. Follow the signs because there are many. 
Do not live over committed to others, to the point where you forfeit your own dreams. Travel, play, explore, adventure. This is God's plan.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The Season's of my Life

A while ago a young child asked me, "what season are you in?"
"What an interesting question," I replied."Can I think about it for awhile?"
"Yes," she answered, "tell me tomorrow."
It took me a few tomorrows to ponder my answer. 
A week later, I found her sitting by the window drawing.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to answer your question. I had to do quite a bit of thinking.
I am now in autumn."
I knew she would want a reason.
"In Spring we are born. It is the time when all of nature comes to life.
In Summer we are children, the world is filled with adventure, abandonment and the pure joy of living. We stay in childhood for a long time."
"How long?" she wanted to know.
"Until we find ourselves," I replied.
"Do we get lost?"
"Not really but we are looking for our purpose."
"Then what happens?"
"Next we move to Autumn. The time of harvest."
"Are we vegetables," she wondered.
This made me laugh,
"No, but it is a time for us to reap. We begin our careers after years of schooling, many of us fall in love, get married, and have children, just like you. We raise our families and we celebrate."
"What happens next?"
"Then comes Winter. The season of rest. The time to remember the joys, the trials, the sacrifices and glory of our lives, our seasons."
"But in Winter,everything dies," she whispered.
"Yes, that's true. But we hope that our Winter will be long."
She gave me a hug and returned to drawing a picture of me in the Autumn of my life.
I watched her as she colored in the leaves that had fallen from the trees that surrounded me.
"I hope you stay in Autumn forever," she said as she smiled and handed me the picture.
"Thank you, " I replied hugging her.
"And may your Summer be equally as long!"

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
ecclesiastes 3:1-8